Figuring out how to get a girl to like you can be confusing and frustrating, but it doesn’t have to be. Not only can we help you understand how to do so, but we can also help you understand why these tips work.
Here’s how to make a girl like you, whether you’re flirting over text, online, or in person. Click the links below to jump to the section that best meets your needs.
How to Make a Girl Like You (Over Text)
Texting has become the de facto way of interacting. It’s easy, it’s fast, and it’s non-intrusive (for the most part). Even though it’s always better to talk in person, I know that you’re still going to text, so let me help you do it the right way.
- Send Complimentary, Straightforward Messages That Can’t Be Misinterpreted
Human beings are biologically hardwired for in-person communication. According to some studies, only about 10% of human communication is about the words used. The rest is body language, tone, volume, and other non-verbal communication.
Communicating solely over text can lead to confusion about the person’s tone or intention. When texting, we can’t see or hear the person, so we have no social cues or body language to clue us in to what they’re really trying to say. Key and Peele have a sketch that’s the all-time best example of misinterpreting texts.
Skip the miscommunication by keeping your texts clear and brief. You should use texting as a means to share little thoughts, ideas, fun facts — basically, only things that can’t be misinterpreted.
Say things like “Last night was fun, looking forward to seeing you again!” It’s short, sweet, and to the point. This statement doesn’t need an answer; it’s only meant to let that person know you’re thinking about them. When people see that you’re reaching out to them just because you want to, without expecting a response back, it’s much more flattering.
- Ask Questions That Don’t Require Too Much Back & Forth
If you enjoy going back and forth with each other via text, make sure your questions have easy answers. Don’t flood her inbox or make her write her personal biography on her phone. Texting is meant to be a quick exchange of info, so keep it that way.
Here’s an example of bad texting:
Her: What do you feel like doing tonight?
You: Dunno. What did you do last weekend? You said you went to a bunch of fun places and saw some bands.
This is too much for her to reply to. Plus, you should save these topics for when you’re in person and can really get into the conversation. She asked you to make a plan, so make a plan and save the soul-searching for later.
Here’s an example of good texting:
Her: What do you feel like doing tonight?
You: Movie sounds good or local pub. Thoughts?
Her: Movie sounds great!
There. Done. Solved.
How to Make a Girl Like You (Online)
It’s easier to showcase yourself online (whether it’s on a dating site or social media), and a lot of our daily communication happens over the web, so you better know how it’s done.
- Be Present in Her Online Life But Not Overbearing
It’s fun to see people interacting with your posts. However, there’s always that one friend (or relative) who comments on or likes everything. There’s no quicker way to freak out a girl than by being all over her social accounts. This doesn’t show that you like her, it shows that you’re cyberstalking her.
Guys should comment occasionally on a girl’s profile without being overbearing.
Feel free to like her posts — just not all of them. A few quick interactions (commenting “Funny!” or “Cool pic!”) will show her that you’re interested without pushing her away.
- Keep All Public Flirting Light and Appropriate
Make sure you’re not being heavy-handed or super flirty in such a public medium. She might get embarrassed if her mom is reading your ill-advised compliments. Don’t say anything online that you wouldn’t shout on the street. You don’t want to be “that guy.”
- Pay Attention to Her Interests to Show You Care
From her online profile, you can easily tell what her likes are. Does she post lots of cat videos? Is her Instagram feed full of edgy fashion shots? Does she keep retweeting Bernie Sanders’ tweets? All of these are breadcrumbs to her good favor, so follow them.
If you come across a cute cat video, post it on her page with a casual caption like “Saw you like cat vids. This one’s super cute!” and leave it at that. This shows that you’ve taken the time and consideration to find out what she likes. Just don’t overdo it.
- Choose Profile Pictures That Will Attract Her to You
If you want women to want you, you first have to learn how to be attractive to women. So let’s be real, the first thing they’re going to notice is your profile picture. You want to make a good impression, so you’ll probably choose one of yourself smiling and looking at the camera, right? Well, that’s the wrong move.
Those pictures are boring, belonging in a school yearbook not social media. According to OkCupid, women respond best to pictures of guys who’re looking away and not smiling. In fact, looking away doubles your chances of a reply. It seems counter-intuitive, but you can’t argue with millions of data points.
Women are more likely to respond to pictures of men looking away from the camera and not smiling.
Women like a man with a little mystery. Your far-off gaze practically begs her to message you to find out what your story is.
You should also only have 2-3 other pics besides the main one. To show you’re not hiding anything, post at least one that’s a full-body shot of you. Perhaps also include one of you having fun somewhere social, so that you seem outgoing and likable. Just make sure you’re the most attractive and interesting person in any picture you post. Nothing should draw her attention away from you.
- Describe Your Interests to Connect With Her & Entice Her to Reach Out
Many times, when filling out a profile, guys make the mistake of merely listing their likes in a long catalog of favorites. If you say “I like hiking,” that doesn’t tell a girl enough about you. Whatever your interests are, the important thing is the why.
Here are three better ways to talk about hobbies or interests:
- “I love hiking because I feel so claustrophobic working in my cubicle that I like to get out into nature and just breathe.”
- “I love hiking because I was formerly a botany major, and I love to get out to new places and see all of the greenery. It just makes me happy.”
- “I love hiking because I love a good challenge, and when I’m out hiking, it’s just me vs. nature and I enjoy that aspect of it.”
Instead of listing everything you like, choose one or two examples and go into detail about why you like those things.
How to Make a Girl Like You (In Person)
In-person interaction is the best way to get a girl to like you. You may have heard some of these tips before, but I’ll explain specifically why and how they work.
- Compliment Her By Being Specific and Genuine
Every guy with a pulse knows to compliment a girl, but most guys are doing it wrong.
Imagine you’re walking down the street with a basketball, and someone says to you “You going to play some basketball?” Um, duh. I’m holding a freakin’ basketball, of course I’m going to play basketball. It just sounds stupid.
Unfortunately, that’s how many men compliment.
Wrong:
You: That’s a cool shirt!
Her: (looking down) Yes, it is.
You: …..
All you did was give an obvious observation; you didn’t actually compliment her. It sounds like you whipped a pickup-line out of your back pocket and handed it to her. General compliments come off as insincere or non-specific. For all she knows, you say that to every girl wearing a cool shirt.
Instead, tell her why the shirt is cool.
Right:
You: That’s a cool shirt! I love The Beatles. What’s your favorite album?
Her: (looking down admiring it) Thanks! I’m obsessed with Abbey Road. How about you?
- Show Her You’re Fun By Doing Things That Make You Happy
Many times, in order to get a woman to like them, guys focus on making sure she’s happy. This is the exact opposite strategy you want to employ.
Let a girl see what you enjoy, and you’ll both end up having a good time.
If you’re constantly trying to make sure she’s having a good time, you’re going to feel anxious. That, in turn, makes her anxious, which then makes you worry more about her being happy with you, so you feel more anxious. Neither of you is having fun in that scenario.
Alternatively, if you’re doing something that you enjoy, your body language opens up, your energy level increases, you smile more, and you feel more relaxed. This allows her to relax too, so you can both enjoy yourselves.
Now, I’m not saying you should completely disregard her happiness, but just know that you are an active part of this couple and you should be doing things that you find fun. If you’re doing something you like, she can see your passion and excitement, and it lets her know you’re a positive person to be around.
Just Remember to Be Your Genuine, Fun Self!
Honestly, no one can make anyone like them. It’s just not that easy. However, by demonstrating that you’re a fun and kind person with a genuine interest in knowing someone for who they are, people will gravitate toward you.
The goal is to be a guy who’s interesting and comfortable in his own skin — someone women find attractive. Whether it’s over text, online, or in person, these tips will get you well on your way to impressing women left and right, showing them that you’re a person worth loving.
And if you haven’t found that special woman who’s interest you want to catch, our reviews of the top dating sites will help you find her!