Self-worth is an absolutely amazing and necessary thing to have. We should do what works for us because it works for us! We are empowered, strong and capable. However, we do want to be able to attract members of the opposite sex and be found desirable. So for the ladies, we are going to shoot for the sweet spot in a Venn diagram!
1. Be True to Who You Are
I first came across this in high school. There was a really smart girl, on the honor roll, national honor society, etc. But when you hung out with her, she did this ditzy, aloof blonde thing. I guess she figured that it’s what the boys wanted, but for me, it was a total turn off. DON’T try to be what you think the men want. For one, you’re likely to be wrong. And secondly, it’s not authentic and can be seen through. Someone out there wants you for who you are. The more you hide it and disseminate, the harder it is for them to find you. If they can’t handle you (within reason, obviously) then they aren’t the one you should be spending time on.
2. Show Interest but Make us Work
We all value what we earn more than what is given to us. So when we have to work for something, it automatically becomes more valuable. However, many men are gun-shy because of all of the rejections that add up. Even the most successful guy has more failures than successes. So you are absolutely encouraged to let the guy know that you like him and that he won’t be rejected. Coyly meeting his eyes, bold eye contact or even just walking up and talking to him all work. But don’t make it too easy on him! He must show that he’s willing to work for you! So after you talk to him for a bit, tell him that you’re going to go back and speak with your friends, but to come find you later. That way, he knows that he can approach you but he still has to work for your attention.
3. Tap Into Your Feminine Qualities/Energies
This one is tough sometimes for NYC women, especially the powerful ones. When I speak about this, many women get huffy and think that I mean, “Dim your star.” Not at all! In no way should you lessen yourself. However, there are masculine energies and feminine energies. The best people have a good mix of both. But for many of these powerful and awesome NYC-area women, they try and use what has worked for them professionally in their romantic lives and it just doesn’t translate well. For instance, aggressiveness, a strong handshake, competitiveness and cocky are masculine traits. These work great in the boardroom but not so much on a date. A man doesn’t want to date a business woman. He wants to date a woman that is also successful in business. It’s a small but vital shift. Instead, on dates, showcase your nurturing, sensitivity, compassion, eloquence and caring. These are the traits love in a woman and do not lessen you in any way. You’re just shifting away from you “business facet” into your “dating facet.” You’ll be amazed at the difference it makes in how the man views you!
Originally published on EZ Dating Coach