These days, everyone’s an expert. The explosion of video sharing and social media mean we take tips from strangers on a daily basis – whether it’s searching for how to tie a bow tie (gentlemen, this is a must-know) or checking out the fantasy football scouting report. It’s rare, however, that we interact with a real expert on their subject, much less one we know.
As such, I was delighted to recently have the chance to talk to Hunt Ethridge, a dating and relationship coach with hundreds of satisfied clients. Hunt works full-time in the dating scene as Chief Marketing Officer of LiveDatingAdvice.com as well as senior roles whitin the International Dating Coach Association and New York Dating Coach. He’s assembled a team of professionals and regularly talks at major dating conferences, as well as being featured in an impressive list of publications including the New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, and Vanity Fair.
I met Hunt on Twitter – he was one of my first Twitter friends! After I retweeted one of his articles, he did his homework on me and tweeted back in French. We’ve been friends ever since. Hunt is passionate about what he does and as you’ll see, that came through in our interview.
Voila, here are Hunt’s top tips for approaching women and getting their phone number during the day. Enjoy!
1. Use your skills of observation
Too many guys use just one approach on every woman. Each lady is different so if you take into consideration these six elements, it will help you get a better idea of who she is before you even say anything.
Time and Place – Where is she, what is she doing and what time is it? 9am at a coffee shop and 3 pm at a coffee shop are very different scenes.
Outfit – Is she dressed up? Casual? Flip flops, sandals, sneakers, pumps or heels? It all makes a difference!
Who She’s With – A woman with 4 girlfriends tells you something, while a woman with 4 guy friends tells you something else.
Body Language – Is she open and energetic? Introverted and shy? Flirty and fun?
Props – Note each choice – iPhone vs Android; LV bag vs backpack; Maltese vs Doberman; shopping bags vs grocery bags.
2. Strike up a conversation.
Do not attempt the PUA style of stopping women on the street to ask for their number. This never works, or if it does, it’s a low quality number. If you do it that way, the woman knows you’re only after one thing. If you start talking to her and converse, when you ask her number, she will feel that you found her personality as interesting as her body.
3. Make it short and sweet
If you are chatting up a lady during the day, you are interrupting her day and schedule, even if it’s welcome. Your encounter should only last 3 to 5 minutes. Get in, have good energy, smile, ask her positive emotional questions (“So what’s your favorite book”), express your happiness at meeting her, suggest you continue this conversation at a time when you both have more time, ask for her number, smile again, tell her you’re excited to see her again, thank her, vamoose!
Once you’ve got her number, what’s Hunt’s advice to turn it into a date?
“Don’t wait for the ‘2-day rule’. You didn’t have a lot of time to impact her and the longer you wait, the more she’ll forget about you. So send her a text the next day, asking her something innocuous and simple, but that requires her to answer. For example, “So great meeting you yesterday. Thinking about where to go when we meet. Are you allergic to anything?”
Don’t stretch the conversation out over text. It gets annoying, there’s no emotion and frankly, you might screw it up! Tell her you’ll call her in a day or so – keep it non-specific. When you do call, again, remind her how great it was to meet her and tell her your ideas for where to go. Give her two options, so she sees that you are taking a leadership role, yet are still valuing her input.”
Originally published in TextWeapon.com