Dating, like most things in life, has it’s trends. Online dating and all the different mobile apps for it has come a long way. While it’s definitely not taboo anymore, online dating still comes with its own set of challenges – including how to move from online chat to in real life (IRL).
Move From Online Chat to IRL
Before diving in, keep in mind that some gals are there for different reasons. Some are purely there for entertainment. They only want a glorified pen pal. Others just enjoy the possibility but not the reality of meeting. And of course you have the dreaded “catfish” – someone is not who they say they are or are grossly misrepresenting themselves. Don’t get down on yourself if you have a string of bad luck meeting one, if not all, of the mentioned types. Keep pressing on! The one you’re looking for is out there.
Discuss Commonalities Right Off the Bat
If you are interested in someone, establish a bond quickly. Remember, you are competing against many others so you want to stand out and stand out fast. Read their profile in its entirety and make sure you make mention of something that you found interesting. It goes a long way to show you’re actually reading her profile and not just looking at her pictures.
“I saw the picture of you skiing and read that you had visited Switzerland. Is that where the picture was taken? I was lucky enough to get to ski in the Alps also at Chamonix. When did you go?”
Don’t Waste Your Messages
“Hi! How’s it going?” isn’t going to cut it. Pack your first messages with good information about yourself. You have a short window before she moves on to someone who spent time writing a message with substance. Don’t waste messages by only answering shortly even if her replies are just a handful of words. Keep the conversation going after your reply with a followup question and hopefully you’ll start connecting. Show some interest or she’ll find someone else who has.
Here’s an example:
Man: “Hey I’m Mark, pleasure to meet you! Read through your profile and it seems like we have a lot of similar interests. Music, traveling, staying active, good food and wine with great company to name a few. It also said you’re not originally from around here. I’m a transplant too…where did you grow up?
Woman: “Hey, nice to meet you too. I’m originally from California. You?”
Man: “Oh that’s really cool…I grew up Las Vegas, but most of my family moved to Southern California. I love it there and visit pretty regularly. The beach, the sun, the weather…what’s there not to love? Do you go back at all?”
Woman: “As often as I can, I love it there too! So you weren’t lying about your love for travel lol”
Man: “No, not at all. We could figure out travel plans, but I say we focus on planning dinner first.”
Woman: “That sounds like a deal =) “
Use a High Point as a Time to Suggest Meeting
When you are messaging back and forth and you finally connect past the pleasantries, you’ll see the level of excitement, flirting and response time improve. When she responds happily to something you wrote, use this as a time to suggest that you meet or speak on the phone. It’s called social capital and you want to capitalize on it!
Originally published in AMansQuest