Originally published on ChicpeaJC
“Dating” is such a loaded word! It conjures everything from 50’s malt shop dates all the way up to modern times on Tinder. And as dating is a mix of biology, sociology and psychology, it can touch on so many aspects of our lives! As someone who has been a professional dating and relationship coach for over ten years now, while I’ll never say I’ve seen it “all,” I have definitely seem a lot of what’s out there and know that it can be confusing, contradictory and time consuming! And I’m sure most of us have some funny or downright horrifying dating battle stories. But hopefully we can learn from each other so we can all raise our game and heighten the chance that love (and luck!) can find us!
“I met a girl on Match.com and she was really hot! And though I don’t normally go for blondes, her interests were similar to mine and we both lived in J.C., so I thought I’d give it a try. We met at a bar/restaurant for a drink and immediately when I sat down, she informed that the she had decided to get married this year and was looking for a partner. I tried not to show my surprise and she totally just started asking questions like she had a checklist. Did not try to make this one work and never saw her again.” – Ed, 39
Pro Tip: I know that the end game for many of us in dating is marriage. But PLEASE, don’t put the cart before the horse! Try and enjoy the “now” and let tomorrow take care of itself.
“Paying is always difficult. Are we going dutch? Am I expected to pay? I’m a traditionalist when it comes to paying at the beginning. If I asked her out, I’ll pay. I went out with a woman to Taqueria for a nice, casual first date. When the check came, I reached for it and so did she. She said she wanted to pay for at least half but I told her I wanted to pay for it. She agreed but then graciously said that the first round of after dinner drinks was on her. I got to do what I wanted to and she threw something into the mix as well. Showed she cared and didn’t expect it all to be on me. We dated for 9 months!” – Steve, 28
Pro Tip: Ladies, it is difficult at times to know what to do in these scenarios. Sometimes, you enjoy the man picking up the tab and sometimes, you want split it but you’re unsure of how he is going to think about either action. I also am a bit of a traditionalist and think the guy should pay for stuff at the beginning. But there’s nothing better than a woman that wants to contribute. It lets you know that they are invested as well in the date and aren’t there for a free meal. So if you’re unsure, offer to buy dessert or a round of drinks or bagels on the weekend or something!
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