Gay Dating – How to find love in a sea of commitment-phobes

Gay matchmaker Jacqueline Burns knows more than anyone that finding love isn’t easy. It’s a full time job for her. For gay singles, looking for a long term partner can be tough. And when it’s getting cold outside, and darker earlier, getting out after a busy day at work gets more difficult. At The Echelon Scene, November, December and January are busy months for gay matchmaking. So, how do you find a boyfriend that you could end up with long-term, especially in these cold winter months? I spoke with Jacqueline and got her best tips to help find a long lasting love.

1. Say yes – saying yes to everything and expanding your opportunities is essential. Grow your personal network. You may say to yourself, “I already know everyone in the gay world!” Well, we are here to tell you as gay matchmakers that’s not true. Most of the men we work for at The Echelon Scene and gay matchmaker have a mix of gay and straight friends, and are busy, high achieving individuals- so when it gets to the end of a busy week they are happy to simply have a dinner party with close friends. There are so many amazing single gay men looking for a long term partner that might make it out only one night, and that could be the night you run into your dream long term gay partner. Reconnect with old friends, meet their friends – have fun! They don’t have to be gay either; expanding your network can mean speaking to anyone. With that in mind, also try doing new things/find hobbies/go to new places and you’ll reap the rewards. Whether it be joining a running club, or getting a membership at Soho House, or even picking up and moving neighborhoods. Gay matchmaker, Jacqueline Burns discovered in her post graduate Psychology degree studying relationships, that when people move they are more likely to meet the one. So keep things moving!

2. Look your best – it seems obvious especially to gay men whose average fitness far exceeds straight men, but when looking for your long-term partner in those cold winter months you must fight the tendency to start eating more and hunkering down. At The Echelon Scene, gay matchmaker Jacqueline Burns has found when gay matchmaking that being passionate about what you do is conducive to keeping fit and healthy, so most of the men she works with are already in great shape. But, it is key those work outs stay regular; healthy eating is a healthy mind and that’s essential. The men Jacqueline Burns is gay matchmaking are all in a positive frame of mind, they are not looking for someone to fill a void, but merely for someone to share their life with.

3. Meditate – Michael Sealey and Boho Beautiful do positive affirmations and hypnosis for positivity and clear projection of goals. Envisage your ideal gay partner, and how you want your life to be. Meditation quietens the mind and allows you the time and space to sit with yourself. All of the gay men Jacqueline Burns matchmakes for at The Echelon Scene want to meet their long-term partner, but it’s rare for any of the men to really contemplate what would work for them and what wouldn’t. Meditation helps with this, as does hiring a gay matchmaking service such as The Echelon Scene.

4. A main focus during this time of contemplation should be on core values – both your values and the values of the long term gay partner you envisage in your life. Contemplate what type of future you imagine for yourself with a partner – a power couple traveling the world or a house in the country with marriage, babies/dogs. A lot of the gay men Jacqueline Burns matchmakes for are international, so they live/travel internationally and simply do not have the time to look for their ideal gay long term partner, or they are from somewhere and have relocated in a new city. When you are in the top 1% of the population your life rarely follows the normal path, especially if you are a gay man and genuinely seeking a long term relationship. Think what path it is you want to go down, and what will work for you long-term. A gay matchmaker can help with that. As one of the most reputable gay matchmaking agencies in the world, The Echelon Scene saves its clients time and allows them to carry on with their busy lives, while The Echelon Scene finds their ideal long term gay partner.

5. Get off Grindr and out of gay clubs – it’s rare to find a lasting gay partnership in a club or on an app where everything is based off of initial physical attraction. There’s simply no filtering of who you are going to meet. If you look after yourself and treat yourself with love and respect, men will sense this strength when they meet you when gay dating and you will attract the right type of person into your life for the long term.

Even still it can be tough when gay dating to find someone who you find physically attractive, who complements your values, is equally passionate about what they do and is genuinely seeking a long-term gay partnership. Thankfully, this is something we specialize at finding at The Echelon Scene!

To speak with about the gentlemen she meets every day, visit to discover a variety of ways to get in touch.

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